Getting Along with the Others

These are some general hints, often overlooked, which are in response to issues reported during the previous DLVs.

As we reflect over the past 10 years, there are a lot of good memories, but unfortunately a few which are best forgotten.

Some of the items in this page may appear to be insignificant and picky, but these are actual items which have been cited by our attendees as impeding the enjoyment of DLV.

The one thing to keep in mind is that the purpose of DLV is to have fun.

We want you to have fun, a lot of fun!We want ALL OF YOU (including the others) to have fun as well.

Please be considerate of others, and don’t have fun at their expense, either intentionally or inadvertently.

A number of reported annoyances and complaints have to do with individuals or groups of our people who have been “too obvious” or attracting far more attention than is necessary. This attention is then focused not only on those initially attracting the attention, but to all of our group who happen to be in the area at the time.These issues involve unwanted attention, to individuals and to the group as a whole, in general public areas.

We realize that it is impossible to make our group totally invisible to onlookers. However, we ask all to consider others and please respect the wishes of those who prefer to be as nonobvious as is practical in the real world.

Specifically, the following items have been cited many times:

  • Unnecessary assembling or parading in groups.The key word here is “unnecessary”.Groups attract attention! (Nothing attracts a crowd, like a crowd.) Groups of TGs attract a lot of attention, even under the best of circumstances.
  • It’s been observed that the majority of the unwanted attention is directed toward our attendees when they are congregating or parading in groups.
  • Loud talking, boisterous and vociferous activity, etc.Loud voices and loud laughter will call attention to you and to all others in your vicinity, particularly if the tone of voice is not congruent with the gender being presented.Horseplay, “grab-assing”, joking around, etc. in public is not ladylike.
  • It’s been observed that as the evening progresses, and more and more alcohol is consumed, voices become louder, and the atmosphere becomes more jovial and unrestrained

  • Misuse of, or obvious use of public restrooms.Please keep in mind that many of those who have suffered the direct consequences of restroom incidents are not those who provoked these incidents! Please consider others when using public restrooms!

    Misusing a public restroom is a very easy way to get somebody else in trouble!

    Throughout the history of DLV, there have been multiple cases where an attendee’s vacation has been totally ruined by being a passive (not the one at fault) victim of a restroom incident!

  • Seemingly innocent or innocuous acts which annoy others.We’re asking everybody to please use some common sense, courtesy, and consideration, in helping others to feel comfortable at DLV.

Some hints …

  • If you are in a general public setting with other DLV attendees, unless there is a particular need to do so, please do not assemble in large groups.
  • Please don’t cling! Be congenial, be attentive, but please don’t crowd others, figuratively and literally.
  • Please contribute to conversations, but don’t monopolize or dominate them, and, please make an effort to include others, particularly newcomers, in your conversations.
  • If you must congregate in a group, step to the side, out of the traffic pattern and out of the center of the onlookers’ field of vision.
  • If you need to get a number of people from one place to another, walk individually or in pairs at most, keeping 20 paces or so (about 10 seconds in time) between each other. This will exceed the attention span of all but the most avid people-watchers.
  • Another thing about moving — keep moving!. If you’re in a busy thoroughfare such as a sidewalk, casino walkway, bottom or top of an escalator, etc., and you have to stop for some reason, step aside out of the traffic pattern before stopping. If you don’t, those behind you will run right into you and give you a close-up inspection whether or not you want it!
  • When dining with others in a restaurant or buffet, and there are more than six of you, unless there is a specific reason you need to be seated all together, break up into smaller groups and use available tables. You will be far less obvious and the wait staff will appreciate it!
  • If your voice is distinctly masculine, please make an effort to speak in a light and soft tone when in public.
  • Please watch the use of profanity or any other language that tends to draw attention when in public.
  • If you need to get the attention of somebody in a public area such as a casino, restaurant, or hotel lobby, please take a few steps over to him or her as opposed to calling out loudly.
  • If you receive a cell phone call, please speak softly and keep the conversation brief when in the company of others. If you have an important call, receive a page, or need to make a phone call, please excuse yourself and move to an appropriate area.


Smoking issues have been reported after every DLV since 1998. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Dealing with this issue requires some understanding, some give and take from all sides, and a good measure of consideration and common courtesy.

DLV attendees appear to be close to evenly divided between smokers and nonsmokers, with neither group making up a clear majority. DLV has always had a mixture of activities where smoking is allowed, as well as those where smoking is prohibited.

Yes, there have been some legitimate complaints about discourteous smoking. Likewise, there have been some complaints where simply stepping 10 feet in any direction would have been an effective solution.

  • Smokers: Please make a conscientious effort to avoid annoying others.
  • Nonsmokers: Please make a conscientious effort to avoid being too easily annoyed.
  • Previously, Las Vegas had far fewer restrictions on smoking than most other areas of the US. As of this time, however, smoking is not allowed in dining areas, including food courts and bars which are licensed to serve food. Smoking is allowed in most gaming areas and in bars and clubs which do not serve food.
  • If smoke bothers you, please do not sit down at a table or bar, or join others in an enclosed area, where others are smoking.
  • If you smoke and you are in the company of nonsmokers, please ask before lighting up. Nonsmokers, if you object, please don’t be shy about saying so.
  • In any case, under any circumstances, if smoke is bothering you, move. There should be no circumstances during DLV where you will be physically trapped in a smoking-only area.
  • One particular item which has been cited several times during the course of DLV is unwanted smoking in a nonsmoker’s vehicle. This has recently resulted in the loss of one of our attendees as a volunteer driver. Please treat our volunteer drivers with the respect they deserve, as they are going out of their way to help make DLV enjoyable for all.

We’re asking all, both smokers and nonsmokers, to exercise courtesy, consideration, and common sense to make DLV more enjoyable for all.

In Case Of Trouble

History has shown that as long as you dress and behave as a lady or gentleman (whichever you prefer) during DLV, there’s very little risk that you will have anything but good memories to take back with you.

History has also shown that if you break laws, misuse property, disregard standards of public conduct, etc., there’s a very good chance that you will be confronted by the appropriate authority, such as bouncers, doormen, casino security, and even possibly law enforcement officers. Yes, if you go looking for trouble, it will find you!

Likewise, if you behave in a flamboyant, conspicuous, or arrogant manner, there is a significant chance that you will be confronted or harassed by members (almost always male) of the general public.

There is also a significant chance that if you misbehave, others in our group will suffer the immediate and long-term results of your actions.

Please Note:

If you get in trouble (legal or civil) during DLV, you are on your own! There’s no legal defense fund and nobody to post bail for you!No DLV organizer or volunteer has the authority to permit you to enter or use any property not under their control. Likewise, they do not have the authority to advise you to break any law, regulation, or management policy.

Although confrontations are very few and very far between, they do happen, in Las Vegas, and in every other community in the world.

The one general piece of advice here is that in case of any confrontation, do your best to avoid escalating the situation!

This advice should be taken whether or not you believe you are at fault, and whether or not you are directly involved in the situation!

General advice in the event of any type of confrontation is to say nothing and to remove yourself from the vicinity immediately!

  • Update on this item: Although it happens extremely rarely, there is a chance that you may be approached by a casino manager or security officer and asked to produce identification. Yes, they have the right to do this, among other things to verify legal age and to be sure you are not on some kind of a “banned list” from the Gaming Commission.Previously we suggested: Should this happen to you, it is most likely best to exit the property as readily is possible. “I’m sorry, I was just leaving.” and walking (do NOT run or walk with obvious haste) toward the nearest exit will most likely end the confrontation.

    A recent conversation with a local (non Las Vegas) casino Security Supervior and Shift Manager indicated that the previous suggestion is incredibly bad practice! For most casinos, it is SOP to escalate to the Security Supervisor or Manager upon any case where someone hesitates or refuses to produce ID.

    Their suggestion was that if you are asked for ID and you know that said ID does not match your appearance, immediately state to the officer that you are transgender(ed) and that the photo on your ID may not be accurate with regard to your present appearance.

    YMMV! This particular suggestion comes from two staff members of a casino which invites TG business and is well aware of TG issues. Attitudes may vary from place to place!

  • If you should ever be told to leave a property, do so immediately. Do not explain anything, do not argue, do not ask why. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Find the nearest exit and GET OUT immediately! Do not return unless you have explicitly been given permission to do so.
  • Likewise, if you are told by management or security to not use any particular portion of a property (such as a public restroom), do not argue and do not explain anything. If this should happen to you, it will probably be best to leave the premesis as soon as you can. Should this happen, please report it to the DLV organizers as soon as you can.
  • There is a chance that a manager or security officer may tell you to “pass the word” regarding something such as restroom use. Should this happen to you, be courteous, but do not commit to anything on behalf of the DLV group. Please notify the DLV organizers as soon as possible should this happen.
  • If another patron should confront you when you enter a restroom, quickly and briefly apologize and GET OUT! Do not explain anything. Leave immediately! Should this happen, it is best to assume that a report will be made to security within minutes, and it will be best that you immediately exit the property, whether or not you believe you are at fault.
  • If somebody should happen to confront you or harass you regarding your mode of dress, do nothing to provoke or escalate the situation! Exit the area immediately. If you feel physically threatened, seek the assistance of a security officer, manager, bouncer, or law enforcement officer. Do not under any circumstances either physically or verbally retaliate! Let the other guy win. Get out and get away from the situation!

Obey the law! Obey traffic regulations to the letter. Be courteous when in public.Although infrequent, DUI sobriety checkpoints do occasionally occur in Las Vegas. Your webmistress can attest to this personally in the recent past. If you should be stopped in one of these, do not panic. They try to keep traffic moving, so they will spend very little time with each vehicle unless there is a particular reason.

If you are stopped at a DUI checkpoint, be courteous. Usually a truthful “No I have not” in response to the “Good evening, have you been drinking?” question will get you waved on with no ID check and no further action.

If you are asked to produce identification, produce your valid legal drivers license. If the officer questions you as to your mode of dress, answer truthfully and briefly. It’s not illegal to drive while crossdressed, but it is illegal to drive drunk. If you are over the legal limit, expect a summons or even an arrest.

A summons for a pedestrian infraction is not unknown in Las Vegas. This may occur for such things as jaywalking or walking against a red light or “Don’t Walk” signal. They are infrequent, but they are given out occasionally. Officers at the Fremont Street Experience have been known to verbally warn those who walk against lights or signs.

Bike patrols have been observed to hang out (among other areas) just north of Flamingo on the Strip watching for those who run a stale yellow light. They can easily position themselves to be unseen until you pass the intersection.