Subject: dlvorg Public, newcomers, etc. ...
From: Annie (annie)
Date: Sun Aug 27 2000 - 00:17:26 CDT
In this mailing:
Going going ...
Reactions in public
Newcomers and such
Dining
Web Sites
Administrivia
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Going going ...:
The first of September is less than a week away, gang, and there have
been no further items of discussion regarding the proposed dates of
May 2-7, 2001 for Diva Las Vegas 2001.
Sooooo, in consideration of all comments, I would like to propose that
we consider the dates of May 2-7 to be now "official" and "in stone"
at this time.
If there's any further discussion, or any objections, please speak now,
time is about to run out.
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Reactions in public:
>Just a short note on the subject of going out en-femme to "public
>places." People will stare, 95%+ of the people who look at you will
>have no reaction.
Actually, I would prefer if they would have no reaction at all, or
better yet, not even notice. There are things you can do to not
draw attention to yourself, but I've already filled pages in these
newsletters with world.according.to.annie.
>A few will smile in a friendly way, and there will be the occasional
>jerk who will make a hurtful comment. Girls, try to keep this in mind
>when out in public---- few people see celebrities or T-girls ever. So
>when they do they stare, and maybe make comments to their friends. You
>are something different, so you are going to be looked at.
>I promise if you simply maintain a smile on your face very few people
>will be rude, and most people will merely smile back at you.
True ... goes along with the old "passing is 90% attitude" line.
>As for
>me, when I am out in public and a rude person makes a comment I simply
>consider the source as being some asshole who's opinion on anything
>isn't worth 2 cents.
Yes, and ignore the jerk. Worst thing to do is react. This attracts
attention and reinforces the jerk's behavior.
>Finally, to you "nervous Nellies," at DLV you will be with friends,
>and that makes everything soooooo much easier for you.
That is one thing we have to stress again this year.
>Vicki
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Newcomers and such:
>> I love to go dancing, and will go every night if anyone
>> wants to go with me.
>Count me in :-)
Counted!
>> We do get a good broad selection from the
><snip>
>> A good percentage of our people therefore come from the center of the
>> center, the peak of the bell-curve.
><snip>
>> In order to
>> keep these people, we have to have activities that are fresh and perhaps
>> challenging. This is the group who would most like to have more
>> experience in the mainline real-world as opposed to the world of GLBT
>> bars and "safe" activities. I think we can safely say this group will
>> lose interest with a repetitive DLV.
>You did a great job summarizing the challenge of keeping repeat girls
>happy.
Thanks {blush}
>> One purpose of DLV has always been to serve the community by encouraging
>> those in the closet to break out.
>Truthfully, I never had the concept of DLV serving as a closer buster,
>probably because I always think of the conventions as serving that
>purpose. Since we've often said DLV explcitly isn't a T* convention, I
>just don't think of it in terms of serving newcomers, although we've
>always done a good job of maiking newcomers feel welcome. Thanks for
>spelling out your view so clearly. It helps me understand the
>scheduling dichotomy.
If we look back on the pre-history of DLV, it's always been intended to
serve both those who are just peeking out of the closet and those who
have been out and about for some time. I would go as far as to say we
even encouraged a few who were uneasy going to the mainline t*
conventions to attend. It originated as a real-life get-together of
those who had gotten to know each other over the Internet (IRC, actually)
and was always intended to be a no-pressure event, meaning those who
were uneasy appearing en femme were to recieve absolutely no peer
pressure to do so.
We started talking about what would eventually become DLV in the fall of
1996. We always had thought it would be So Cool<tm> if those of us who
knew each other on the net could meet in real life. One suggestion was
to meet at one of the several t* conventions (Fall Harvest and Fanfair
had just happened, but there was another bolus of them coming up that
Spring.) This met with a resounding "NO WAY!" from the peanut gallery.
There was a whole litany of reasons, too expensive, snobbish, boring,
big-closet, and various other reasons, but the one I remember most was
the quote to the effect of "I want a vacation, not a convention."
IMAO, nothing beats one-on-one closetbusting (personal support and
encouragement) for getting people out of the closet. Also, imao, we
at DLV do a much better job of just that than they do at the t*
conventions.
>> I like to think of our nervous-Nellie newcomers as our regulars
>> of tomorrow. This is the area where we can make a significant impact on
>> our community as a whole. This is the area where lives are changed for
>> the better on a grandiose scale.
>
>Maybe one way to get nervous Newcomers to join in more is to reach out
>even sooner, before we ever get to LV. Some ideas that come to mind:
>
>1). When a newcomer identifies themselves as such to you in an e-mail,
>you could ask them if they would like to correspond directly with one or
>two of the multi-year regular girls. While we might have to deal with a
>few tranny chasers this way (people masquerading as potential DLV
>attendees who instead are really people who just get a thrill from
>talking to/looking at/hanging out with T* girls), and I am sure that
>there are already several chasers lurking on the main list, this is a
>risk worth taking to make genuine newcomers feel better about joining in
>on our main "out" activities.
We could have pre-dlv "big sisters" I suppose ...
>2). Include a little column/article in each newsletter (or on the DLV
>Web site) about how to survive as a T* girl in public:
> - common sense to drinking
> - using public restrooms
> - handling harassment
> - handling amorous advances
> - using public transportation
> - how to handle talking to the police
> - dressing for fun while dressing to fit in
>
>Each year, Annie publishes a list of common sense tips a few days before
>DLV. These columns would build on those ideas, but would come out
>months in advance. The idea is to help newcomers get their confidence
>up far in advance of DLV. We want them to see that they are going out
>with very experienced people who will make sure that they are safe and
>have fun, even when they go to mainstream places.
I think this would work best on the website. I'm trying like heck to
avoid overload in the newsletters. I keep worrying they're too verbose
and people skim, skip, and miss important stuff.
There was a comment that the information should go out earlier than it
has been. Maybe the website is a good idea for that.
>3). If someone is willing to do it, have one designated (volunteer) very
>visible "den mother" who will gently keep in verbal/personal contact
>with identified newcomers that actually show up in LV.
Actually, throughout our history, there have been far more volunteers to
be big sisters than there has been the need for them.
>Annie has done
>this in the past, but she can't keep on doing everything.
I don't do everything ... intentionally. I want others to take part in
the organizing and running of the thing as well. I want to have a Big
Push for volunteers around the first of the year.
>Anyway, helping newcomers participate is a good thing. Tina likes it.
>:-)
And they (the newcomers) like it too. :)
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Dining:
>About eating in public. Almost all nice restaurants have a party room or
>banquet room you can use at no charge, except for the price of the meal.
>You need to get at least 12-15 or so, but most all restaurants have
>these. Their usually off and hidden from the main room, and sometimes
>have their own restrooms.
Yes, and this is always an option if anybody wants to pursue it ...
>All you have to do is make a reservation and
>guarantee them so many meals, and they will let you use it with no
>charge. You might have to collect in advance to be sure of no-show.
{putting tongue slightly in cheek} If the word "you" refers to me, I'll
probably just opt to doing as I have when I've had to coordinate a meal
at DLV, and get everybody to meet at a certain place at a certain time.
That always seems to work.
If the "you" refers to you or another volunteer <hint> then be my
guest, or rather I'll be your guest. :)
I tend to like informal meals for DLV. As I think back on the two I
coordinated at DLV2000 (Sahara and Palace Station) nobody got any
strange looks, at least nobody mentioned it or noticed it, and most
everybody was happy with the food.
But seriously, if people think that a more formal dress-up dinner is in
order, let it be so. Just so somebody thinks of it to be enough of a
priority to volunteer to make it happen.
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Web Sites:
DLV main page http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/
Michelle Jenkins http://www.idis.com/mpj
Tina http://home.att.net/~tinatawdre/
annie http://www.geekbabe.com/annie/
Julie http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Park/9289/
Rickie's Place http://www.freeyellow.com/members2/rick121
Margeth http://www.geekbabe.com/margeth/
Melissa's Magic Realm http://www.geocities.com/melissa_t17
The Cactus Rose Club http://www.geocities.com/crc_az
Debbie Sage http://intermind.net/~sage/
Vicki's Little Page http://hometown.aol.com/vickits44/myhomepage/index.html
Mindy http://www.fortunecity.com/village/freedom/785/
Bea http://BeatrizZ.tripod.com/
Lorraine http://members.tgforum.com/lorraineadams
Any others? If so, send them in (just hit REPLY).
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Administrivia:
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Diva Las Vegas 2001
May 2-7, 2001
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
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