Thank you all

[External Poster]

This posting is from: Kim
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Dear Gals,

To those that took the time to respond to my questions - a
big "thank you." They were all great suggestions. Now the work starts.
Some great Chinese (I think) philosopher said "the longest journey
starts with a single footstep."

Well seeing as how this even is in my home state it would be a shame not
to attend. Not that my pyche is that fragile at this age -- what worries
me the most is being "read" by some hysterical GG and having the "long
arm of the law" called down upon me. As for the voice part I suppose I
could always wear my blonde wig and carry a sign that say "look at me I
am a Blonde mute, deaf and dumb."

My first "event will be in a couple of weeks when I attend my first
Tri-Ess (T.U.G.) meeting in Vegas.

Again,

Thanks

Kim


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: Rosaliy
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Hope to see you then. I am editor of the T.U.G. Newsletter so meeting
is a piece of cake.

Need a little help? I'll do what I can as will the other girls of T.U.G.

Rosaliy


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: Rosaliy
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Well that first step can be scary but you have sisters here willing to
help you out and feel comfortable.

So are you anywhere near vegas? Perhaps you would like to meet one on
one first and go from there. Of course I am still a stranger but one is
a lot less intimidating that 100. Panic is understandable. You may able
to carpool with someone while here so you don't have to worry about
driving.

I've been pulled over once dressed - it was no big deal. My
registration had expired and I was running on a 10-day till I
could get the car fixed to pass smog.

Dress code is simple - age and event appropriate.

Bathrooms are easy enough as long as you use common sense. Use the one
for the way you are dressed and behave in the manner you are dressed.
Women SIT in the bathroom. Do what you are there for and leave. I have
not had any problems. IF you are challenged - just offer a brief apology
and go in search of another restroom - or ask a security person for the
location of one that will not be a problem for you to use.

Common sense prevails and you should be ok.


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: CherylL
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It's the same for me. This is something I really want to do more and
more when I look at the pictures but I'm scared to death and I don't
know if I can do it.

First I'm not good meeting new people. I'm scared to death walking into
a room with 100 strangers, let along dressed. I'm afraid I would panic.

I see you don't have the events in the hotel. I'm scared to death to go
on out and drive over. I'm afraid I will be nervous and run a red or
something and I would just die if I would be pulled over dressed.

Then I'm scared to death that my dress won't be up to code, and I'll be
turned away. I know you are real stickler's about that.

Let's not even talk about bathrooms! I don't know what I would do there.

I know this will be a lot of fun, but I don't know how you guys do it.

Thanks for listening.


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: annie
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>what worries me the most is being "read" by some hysterical GG and
>having the "long arm of the law" called down upon me.

(Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer. This is not legal advice. What I cite,
however, comes from somebody who is one.)

It is very unlikely that the long arm of the law will come down upon you
unless you go looking for trouble, or happen to be an unfortunate victim
of somebody else who is looking for trouble in the vicinity of you.

Nothing you would be doing is illegal. Crossdressing is not illegal, and
despite persistent rumors of such a law, using a public restroom of your
choice is not, per se, illegal.


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: annie
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>First I'm not good meeting new people. I'm scared to death walking into
>a room with 100 strangers, let along dressed. I'm afraid I would panic.

We can't offer a sure-fire remedy against being nervous, but we can help
you out in several respects and we have a very good track record. :)

If you're uneasy walking into a large gathering cold, ask for one of
our volunteer Big Sisters to escort you.

Also, if you would rather meet one-on-one with one of our volunteers
before you go to any group gatherings, let us know. This is very easy
to arrange. You can break the ice before you go, so to speak.

>I see you don't have the events in the hotel. I'm scared to death to go
>on out and drive over. I'm afraid I will be nervous and run a red or
>something and I would just die if I would be pulled over dressed.

Again, what I would suggest is signing up for a Big Sister. She can
help you with any anxiety you may feel walking out of your room and
through the hotel lobby and such.

Also, if you aren't comfortable driving, you probably will not have to.
For all years so far, we've had far more volunteer drivers than we've
had riders who need rides. A ride with somebody else will almost always
be available.

>Then I'm scared to death that my dress won't be up to code, and I'll be
>turned away. I know you are real stickler's about that.

Let me speak (type) very freely. I think there are many misunderstanding
about our dress guidelines still circulating.

As long as you make a consientious effort to dress and behave properly,
you should be fine.

The only cases where we're going to deny admission or ask somebody to
leave are the "mainstream" activities, in places that are shared with
the general public. In these locations, as long as your outfit is
age-appropriate, size-appropriate, and occasion-appropriate, (short
translation, "non-slutty") you will be fine.

In what we call the "safe venue" activities, (such as the welcome
celebration, alternative bar crawl, etc.), we won't be doing any
enforcement of dress guidelines.

>Let's not even talk about bathrooms! I don't know what I would do
>there.

This is one area which can be very challenging, and there's really no
one-size-fits-all solution for everybody. There's a lot written about
this subject on the DLV web site. A good item to read might be:

http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/rroom.html

Incidents involving restrooms have been few and far between lately, but
when they have occurred, it's almost always been a result of somebody
misusing a restroom, or unfortunately being in the wake of somebody who
recently had. :(

Hope this helps ... :)


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: Nora
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If the person who wrote this letter wishes to contact me and discuss her
concerns about joining us at the DLV I would be happy to help in any
way I can.

Nora

( Big Sister Coordinator )


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: Rosada
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>I know this will be a lot of fun, but I don't know how you guys do it.

Hi Cheryl,

Honey, this is Rosada, I know exactly how you feel. In fact, I don't
think there isn't anyone at DLV who hasn't felt at one time in their
life what you are describing in your message.

You want to know how I did it. Well, it's was just like when I appeared
in a play in front of an audience for the very first time. Being in a
play gave me the freedom to concentrate my attention not on me but on
the character i was portraying. Dressing up gave me the opportunity to
be someone else. That same freedom worked for me at DLV. It gave me the
courage to get through my very first DLV.

And with the support and help I received from all the girls every DLV
thereafter became easier and easier. I no longer pretend I'm someone
other than Richard. I truly feel I am Rosada whenever I attend DLV. I
hope this helped. Hope to meet you at DLV 07.


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[External Poster]

This posting is from: Sarah
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Don't worry about your voice if you are just going to be with DLV folks.

I've been to some of these gab sessions and the bass rumble makes folks
look out to the street for a low-rider driving by. My recommendation
is to be superficial. Work on the look first and become comfortable
with the woman you see in the mirror.

I look forward to the time I spend getting ready and rarely have enough.
That preparation time is part of the fun, particularly in the early days.
Later as I got more comfortable and accepted the person I am, it was much
easier to go public because the opinion of strangers didn't matter as much
any longer. The time I spent with DLV and others helped there as well.

I may not be able to attend this year (Changes in job and my bride
fighting and winning against some heavy-duty health issues). But if I
do it will be for such a short time, that it may only be my evil twin
brother who appears.

I know the DLV attendees will accept him just like they accepted and
encouraged me in the past. If nothing else, I'd love to stand in the
crowd as the limo tour pulls up and spills 40 or more amazing DLV'ers
into the unsuspecting world.

Sarah


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