Hints For Getting Along With Others
(Updated March, 2010)
These are some general hints, often overlooked, which are in response to
issues reported during the previous DLVs.
As we reflect over the past 10 years, there are a lot of good memories,
but unfortunately a few which are best forgotten.
Some of the items in this page may appear to be insignificant and picky,
but these are actual items which have been cited by our attendees as
impeding the enjoyment of DLV.
The one thing to keep in mind is that the purpose of DLV is to have fun.
We want you to have fun, a lot of fun!
We want ALL OF YOU (including the others) to have fun as well.
Please be considerate of others, and don't have fun at their expense,
either intentionally or inadvertently.
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A number of reported annoyances and complaints have to do with
individuals or groups of our people who have been "too obvious" or
attracting far more attention than is necessary. This attention is then
focused not only on those initially attracting the attention, but to all
of our group who happen to be in the area at the time.
These issues involve unwanted attention, to individuals and to the group
as a whole, in general public areas.
We realize that it is impossible to make our group totally invisible to
onlookers. However, we ask all to consider others and please respect the
wishes of those who prefer to be as nonobvious as is practical in the
real world.
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Specifically, the following items have been cited many times:
- Unnecessary assembling or parading in groups.
The key word here is "unnecessary".
Groups attract attention! (Nothing attracts a crowd, like a crowd.)
Groups of TGs attract a lot of attention, even under the best of
circumstances.
It's been observed that the majority of the unwanted attention is
directed toward our attendees when they are congregating or parading
in groups.
- Loud talking, boisterous and vociferous activity, etc.
Loud voices and loud laughter will call attention to you and to all
others in your vicinity, particularly if the tone of voice is not
congruent with the gender being presented.
Horseplay, "grab-assing", joking around, etc. in public is not
ladylike.
It's been observed that as the evening progresses, and more and more
alcohol is consumed, voices become louder, and the atmosphere becomes
more jovial and unrestrained.
- Misuse of, or obvious use of public restrooms.
Please keep in mind that many of those who have suffered the direct
consequences of restroom incidents are not those who provoked these
incidents! Please consider others when using public restrooms!
Misusing a public restroom is a very easy way to get somebody
else in trouble!
Throughout the history of DLV, there have been multiple cases
where an attendee's vacation has been totally ruined by being a passive
(not the one at fault) victim of a restroom
incident!
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- Seemingly innocent or innocuous acts which annoy others.
We're asking everybody to please use some common sense, courtesy, and
consideration, in helping others to feel comfortable at DLV.
Some hints ...
- If you are in a general public setting with other DLV attendees, unless
there is a particular need to do so, please do not assemble in large
groups.
- Please don't cling! Be congenial, be attentive, but please don't crowd
others, figuratively and literally.
- Please contribute to conversations, but don't monopolize or dominate
them, and, please make an effort to include others, particularly
newcomers, in your conversations.
- If you must congregate in a group, step to the side, out of the traffic
pattern and out of the center of the onlookers' field of vision.
- If you need to get a number of people from one place to another, walk
individually or in pairs at most, keeping 20 paces or so (about 10
seconds in time) between each other. This will exceed the attention
span of all but the most avid people-watchers.
- Another thing about moving -- keep moving!. If you're in a busy
thoroughfare such as a sidewalk, casino walkway, bottom or top of an
escalator, etc., and you have to stop for some reason, step aside out of
the traffic pattern before stopping. If you don't, those behind you will
run right into you and give you a close-up inspection whether or not you
want it!
- When dining with others in a restaurant or buffet, and there are
more than six of you, unless there is a specific reason you need to be
seated all together, break up into smaller groups and use available
tables. You will be far less obvious and the wait staff will appreciate
it!
- If your voice is distinctly masculine, please make an effort to speak in
a light and soft tone when in public.
- Please watch the use of profanity or any other language that tends to
draw attention when in public.
- If you need to get the attention of somebody in a public area such as a
casino, restaurant, or hotel lobby, please take a few steps over to him
or her as opposed to calling out loudly.
- If you receive a cell phone call, please speak softly and keep the
conversation brief when in the company of others. If you have an
important call, receive a page, or need to make a phone call, please
excuse yourself and move to an appropriate area.
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Smoking
Smoking issues have been reported after every DLV since 1998. There is
no one-size-fits-all solution. Dealing with this issue requires some
understanding, some give and take from all sides, and a good measure of
consideration and common courtesy.
DLV attendees appear to be close to evenly divided between smokers and
nonsmokers, with neither group making up a clear majority. DLV has
always had a mixture of activities where smoking is allowed, as well as
those where smoking is prohibited.
Yes, there have been some legitimate complaints about discourteous
smoking. Likewise, there have been some complaints where simply stepping
10 feet in any direction would have been an effective solution.
- Smokers: Please make a conscientious effort to avoid annoying others.
- Nonsmokers: Please make a conscientious effort to avoid being
too easily annoyed.
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- Previously, Las Vegas had far fewer restrictions on smoking than
most other areas of the US. As of this time, however, smoking is not
allowed in dining areas, including food courts and bars which are
licensed to serve food. Smoking is allowed in most gaming areas and in
bars and clubs which do not serve food.
- If smoke bothers you, please do not sit down at a table or bar, or
join others in an enclosed area, where others are smoking.
- If you smoke and you are in the company of nonsmokers, please ask
before lighting up. Nonsmokers, if you object, please don't be shy
about saying so.
- In any case, under any circumstances, if smoke is bothering you,
move. There should be no circumstances during DLV where you will be
physically trapped in a smoking-only area.
- One particular item which has been cited several times during the
course of DLV is unwanted smoking in a nonsmoker's vehicle. This has
recently resulted in the loss of one of our attendees as a volunteer
driver. Please treat our volunteer drivers with the respect they
deserve, as they are going out of their way to help make DLV enjoyable
for all.
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We're asking all, both smokers and nonsmokers, to exercise courtesy,
consideration, and common sense to make DLV more enjoyable for all.
In Case Of Trouble
History has shown that as long as you dress and behave as a lady or
gentleman (whichever you prefer) during DLV, there's very little risk
that you will have anything but good memories to take back with you.
History has also shown that if you break laws, misuse
property, disregard standards of public conduct, etc.,
there's a very good chance that you will be confronted by the
appropriate authority, such as bouncers, doormen, casino security, and
even possibly law enforcement officers. Yes, if you go looking for
trouble, it will find you!
Likewise, if you behave in a flamboyant, conspicuous, or
arrogant manner, there is a significant chance that you
will be confronted or harassed by members (almost always male) of the
general public.
There is also a significant chance that if you misbehave,
others in our group will suffer the immediate and long-term
results of your actions.
Please Note:
If you get in trouble (legal or civil) during DLV, you are on your
own! There's no legal defense fund and nobody to post bail for you!
No DLV organizer or volunteer has the authority to permit you to enter
or use any property not under their control. Likewise, they do not have
the authority to advise you to break any law, regulation, or management
policy.
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Although confrontations are very few and very far between, they do happen,
in Las Vegas, and in every other community in the world.
The one general piece of advice here is that in case of any
confrontation, do your best to avoid escalating the situation!
This advice should be taken whether or not you believe you are at fault,
and whether or not you are directly involved in the situation!
General advice in the event of any type of confrontation is to say
nothing and to remove yourself from the vicinity immediately!
- Update on this item:
Although it happens extremely rarely, there is a chance that
you may be approached by a casino manager or security officer and asked
to produce identification. Yes, they have the right to do this, among
other things to verify legal age and to be sure you are not on some kind
of a "banned list" from the Gaming Commission.
Previously we suggested: Should this happen to you, it is most likely best
to exit the property
as readily is possible. "I'm sorry, I was just leaving." and
walking (do NOT run or walk with obvious haste) toward the
nearest exit will most likely end the confrontation.
A recent conversation with a local (non Las Vegas) casino Security
Supervior and Shift Manager indicated that the previous suggestion
is incredibly bad practice! For most casinos, it is SOP to escalate
to the Security Supervisor or Manager upon any case where someone
hesitates or refuses to produce ID.
Their suggestion was that if you are asked for ID and you know
that said ID does not match your appearance, immediately state
to the officer that you are transgender(ed) and that the photo
on your ID may not be accurate with regard to your present
appearance.
YMMV! This particular suggestion comes from two staff members
of a casino which invites TG business and is well aware of
TG issues. Attitudes may vary from place to place!
- If you should ever be told to leave a property, do so immediately.
Do not explain anything, do not argue, do not ask why. Do not pass GO,
do not collect $200. Find the nearest exit and GET OUT
immediately! Do not return unless you have explicitly been given
permission to do so.
- Likewise, if you are told by management or security to not use any
particular portion of a property (such as a public restroom), do not
argue and do not explain anything. If this should happen to you, it
will probably be best to leave the premesis as soon as you can. Should
this happen, please report it to the DLV organizers as soon as you can.
- There is a chance that a manager or security officer may tell you
to "pass the word" regarding something such as restroom use.
Should this happen to you, be courteous, but do not commit to
anything on behalf of the DLV group. Please notify the DLV
organizers as soon as possible should this happen.
- If another patron should confront you when you enter a restroom,
quickly and briefly apologize and GET OUT! Do not explain
anything. Leave immediately! Should this happen, it is best to assume
that a report will be made to security within minutes, and it will be
best that you immediately exit the property, whether or not you
believe you are at fault.
- If somebody should happen to confront you or harass you regarding
your mode of dress, do nothing to provoke or escalate the
situation! Exit the area immediately. If you feel physically
threatened, seek the assistance of a security officer, manager, bouncer,
or law enforcement officer. Do not under any circumstances either
physically or verbally retaliate! Let the other guy win. Get out
and get away from the situation!
Obey the law! Obey traffic regulations to the letter. Be courteous when
in public.
Although infrequent, DUI sobriety checkpoints do occasionally occur in
Las Vegas. Your webmistress can attest to this personally in the recent
past. If you should be stopped in one of these, do not panic. They try
to keep traffic moving, so they will spend very little time with each
vehicle unless there is a particular reason.
If you are stopped at a DUI checkpoint, be courteous. Usually a truthful
"No I have not" in response to the "Good evening, have you
been drinking?" question will get you waved on with no ID check and
no further action.
If you are asked to produce identification, produce your valid legal
drivers license. If the officer questions you as to your mode of dress,
answer truthfully and briefly. It's not illegal to drive while
crossdressed, but it is illegal to drive drunk. If you are over the
legal limit, expect a summons or even an arrest.
A summons for a pedestrian infraction is not unknown in Las Vegas. This
may occur for such things as jaywalking or walking against a red light or
"Don't Walk" signal. They are infrequent, but they are given
out occasionally. Officers at the Fremont Street Experience have been
known to verbally warn those who walk against lights or signs.
Bike patrols have been observed to hang out (among other areas) just
north of Flamingo on the Strip watching for those who run a stale
yellow light. They can easily position themselves to be unseen until
you pass the intersection.
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