In this mailing:
Org List
Big Sister team
Big Sister Team thoughts
Administrivia
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Org List:
This is the DLV 2013 Organizational Mailing List (dlvorg_at_geekbabe.com)
Replies to this message will be forwarded to the DLVORG list and not
the DLV-Announce or DLV-Discuss list.
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Big Sister team:
This mailing, again, concerns one topic, that of the vacancy of the
Big Sister Coordinator and the possible transition to the team
model for the leadership of the Big Sister Program.
All other items will be taken up right after the first of the year.
Thanks to all who responded!
The responses received appear to be in favor of adopting the team
model. Let's let the discussion go on for one more list cycle and
if there are any objections to calling this one by consensus, we'll
call for a vote on the question.
Further thoughts and comments please.
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Big Sister Team thoughts:
(In order of receipt)
Gina writes:
I think the team model is a good idea.
Get as many people involved and into the frying pan as possible. Maybe
set up the lady that can't attend as the coordinator, she can stay
involved, believe me I know what it means to not being able to attend.
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Beverly writes:
Team Work! Team Work! Team Work! Yeah Team!!
I'm all for the team approach, especially considering the two nominated
gals. I feel Delaney and Holly would be outstanding in the role of
Coordinator team and I would be honored to assist them in anyway I can.
I wish I was able to be in Las Vegas earlier to greet the new comers and
be there for 'first contact' but, unfortunately, I will not be able to
assist until Monday of DLV week. However, I would be happy to be
available to be in contact by email or phone in the days, weeks, even
months leading up to DLV as well as during the DLV week. I feel that
smoothing the way and easing fears before the little sister leaves home
are just as important as being there when the need to 'push them out of
the hotel room' arises.
So count me in.
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Gabi writes:
I would be happy to work with Beverly on this project. As I said in my
last e mail I really gained a lot from being a little sister and being a
big sister in the past couple of years. At this time I believe I have to
teach a driving class the last weekend of Diva.
Folks will be happy to know my driving school (google driving schools in
Vermont and I'm on the first page) has grown at an amazing rate and I am
booked almost a year in advance right now. And I'm doing it all
completely as Gabi. That is the amazing part. Coming to Diva in 2010 for
the first time gave me the courage to move all these things forward in
my life.
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Holly writes:
I'm trying to figure out why we are looking to fix something that
doesn't appear to be broken. As far as I knew, the Big Sister Program
has always been a team effort with Nora being the team captain with the
rest of us filling various positions as Nora allocated the resources and
called the plays with the rest of us working alongside her to make DLV
the best possible experience for our new/shy girls. I can tell you from
experience that there is no feeling equal to being with a girl the first
time she steps out and feels the sunshine on her face (having used an
appropriate sunscreen, of course). It eludes me why more people don't
sign up to experience it. Perhaps it has been under-promoted?
Some thoughts...
Recruiting- It doesn't start in the off season. It starts at DLV the
year before! You observe and talk to people as you get to know them. We
post stories on MyDLV and the various DLV lists sharing the experiences
big and little sisters have had at DLV. I think having a pool of
volunteer Big Sisters would be awesome. Why shouldn't this be an area of
responsibility? I'm not saying one individual has to do all the
recruiting themselves but I do think one person should be coordinating
the effort.
Matching Sisters- It's more than going down a list and pairing names
together. Arrival and departure dates, areas of interest, SO
involvement, and lots of other considerations need to be taken into
account when matching sisters together. It is my opinion that one
individual who is familiar with all the resources would be the most
effective way to assign them. Perhaps I am not understanding the model
that is being proposed, but looking at the example, it looks as if once
Lead #1 accepts an assignment, subsequent assignments fall to Scope #2.
Scope #2 now needs to become familiar with all the considerations
mentioned above. To me, this just seems to complicate the process and
make it less efficient.
Quality Control- No one mentioned it but this is something we need to
implement. I know one little sister this past year who had an experience
she should not have had. I took her under my wing and she wound up
having a pretty good time, I think. We still talk to this day. But at
the time, she was about to pack it in and head home by Tuesday. I do
have some thoughts as to how we can try to avoid this type of thing in
the future and will share them when/where appropriate.
Recognition- How about introducing the Big Sisters at the opening event
and then each Big Sister introducing her Little Sister? This would be a
great opportunity for everyone to meet the new girls with little/no
stress on our neophyte ladies. I'm also toying with the idea of having
some kind of Sisters Social function. I'm also thinking of making up
some Sister Pins. They would be identical except the Big Sister pin
would be one color and the Little Sister pin another. Maybe the Big
Sisters could "pin" their Little Sisters at the opening event... just
thinking out loud. The pins would also allow DLV attendees to easily
recognize new additions to the family so they can help them feel at
home.
All this said, I don't think I object to serving on a "Big Sister Team"
as I thought we were all one big team at DLV. But I would like to have a
clearer understanding of the concept as envisioned by the DLV
Administration.
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Bob writes:
"Team" sounds neat, providing all can work as a team.
I have wondered at times if I could fit in somehow as a BB. Annie, you
know me. How could I fit in to the Big Sister Program? I do have a
unique understanding of the lifestyle.
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Delaney writes:
I have no objections to either approach, I volunteered in order to be
helpful to DLV. Independent of the organizational structure selected, so
far as my own abilities, I am generally stronger in an administrative
role, but I can assist in any fashion. I am also willing to step aside
and do help in some other manner; it's not a problem.
. . . . . . . . . .
Annie responds:
A few comments on some of the talking points.
First of all, thanks to all for the comments and thoughts. There
appear to be no serious objections to the team model. All whose
names were mentioned appear to be willing, and in some cases very
enthusiastic, about serving on such a team.
I think there is a role to play for everyone who wants to be
involved with the Big Sister Program.
Gina suggests setting up "the lady who can't attend" as the
Coordinator, and I assume she means Gabi. :) :) We will need the
Big Sister Team to designate someone to fill the role of Big
Sister Coordinator on the Administrative Committee, and I personally
think that Gabi would be a good fit for that position. If we adopt
the team model, they can of course select who they wish. :)
I'm not hearing any "The Big Sister Program is broken" thoughts
either on or off line. In particular I'm hearing absolutely no
criticism of Nora's running of the Big Sister Program in recent
years. The idea came about from some thoughts regarding how we
could make a good thing better. I saw the examples cited by
JoAnn as ideas of how things could work, and not at all as
mandates on how they should work.
We've seen in our organization how teams can work more effectively
than individuals do in many cases. Teams eliminate that "single
point of failure" burden upon one individual. TG organizations
have historically been extremely vulnerable to single point of
failure issues. In a similar vein, the team concept eliminates
the single target of faultfinding. As I'm sure all of you know,
the flinging of flak is somewhat of a varsity sport within the
TG community.
Distributing the load also helps control volunteer overload. In
every volunteer-based TG organization I've ever been involved
with, including DLV, volunteer overload, leading to frustration
and burnout, leading to drop-out, has occurred. Sharing the load
also conserves the available "bandwidth" of each individual
volunteer.
Complaints about the Big Sister Program are few and far between.
The most common one I've heard over the years is disappointment
of a Big Sister when a Little Sister is a no-show. All of the
others appear to be either isolated cases, such as a Big Sister
in 2012 who discouraged a Little Sister from attending certain
activities or general cases where the matched individuals just
do not bond for any of several reasons.
Shifting gears ... Over the years, I'm unaware of any requests
for a Big Brother, but the concept has indeed been discussed a
few times. It's been my impression that the vast majority of the
cisgender(ed) men who have attended DLV over the years have been
as comfortable with DLV as they are in other social situations.
At DLV, we have yet to have a female-to-male individual who
has registered and followed through and attended. We did have
one who registered and cancelled, and another who dropped in
briefly at one activity (Charles Bar) but did not appear on
the roster.
Our M to F attendees are so diverse, but I daresay that our
attendees who identify as men are more diverse! The other
events do seem to get a number of F to M individuals in
various stages of transition, but we seem to get more male
SOs and self-identified admirers.
To answer Bob's question directly, I can envision Bob as a
possible member of the Big Sister Team, one who is designated
as the "Go-To Guy" for any Big Brother requests that should
come in.
Shifting gears again ...
As far as what I, personally, would like to see from the
Big Sister (Big Sibling?) Program, would be the continuation
of such things as the one-on-one matched Big/Little Sisters
both prior to and during our event, plus the availability of
an emergency Big Sister Hotline for any issues (historically
very few) which arise during the event.
In particular, I think that the Big Sister Program can help
us with all of the six key principles which were outlined
a few mailings back:
1. Early assimilation.
Encourage pre-DLV interaction between Big and Little Sisters,
by e-mail and perhaps even by phone as Beverly stated. Start
helping the Little Sisters to feel "part of the group" before
they even set foot in Las Vegas. Encourage the Little Sisters
to participate in our on-line discussion and such.
2. Active inclusion.
One of the classical duties of a Big Sister. Introduce the
Little Sisters to others. Help them get acquainted with the
group, and help them feel included. Accompany them to the
activities. One sure-fire way to expand those small circles
of friends is to include Little Sisters in them! :)
3. Program continuity.
By the nature of our event, we have far more discontinuities
than do the other events, and this was clearly noted. A Big
Sister can help a Little Sister plan her DLV days, and can
provide companionship, if desired, during the down times.
The Little Sister should see the Big Sister Program as a
well-integrated part of the DLV event as a whole.
4. Ongoing recognition.
As was cited above by Holly, introduce the Big/Little Sister
pairs. The venue currently on the schedule for our big opener
this coming year is not very conducive to any kind of a
"program", but we have the big closing activity at Bahama
Breeze which will probably work quite well.
Such recognition could also be rolled in to a Volunteer
Recognition activity, should that happen again this coming
year.
5. Affordability.
A Big Sister knows what expenses are involved with DLV, and
in particular, what items are necessary to purchase and bring
along. A Big Sister can help a Little Sister plan what to and
what not to purchase and pack in advance of the event.
During the event, a Big Sister can help a Little Sister get
the bang for the buck! Historically, those who are new are
often shy of such things as outlet malls, thrift shops, flea
markets, etc. Big/Little Sister shopping has been part of the
experience for years.
6. Simplicity.
Every time I talk to Ginger about DLV business she keeps
saying "Simple Simple Simple" and I'm becoming very well
indoctrinated. :)
I don't think our Big Sister Program needs simplification,
but I think that as a general goal it should not become
significantly more formalized or complex.
If there's anything I (Annie) can do to help with the systems
angle, to alleviate grunt work and such, please let me know
and there are countless options. What we now have in place
are Big and Little Sister sign-up screens, integrated into
the registration and sign-up system. We currently do not
store or track any Big/Little Sister data, but we could if
we wanted to.
Thanks again, gang! :)
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Administrivia:
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Received on Sat Dec 15 2012 - 15:16:24 CST
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