(Note: The primary author of this document is not a native speaker of the
American dialect of English. If you are American, please excuse the
non-American spellings, grammar, and terminology.)
General restroom notes:
You are solely responsible to determine which restroom you will use, if
any, and accept any consequences that may occur. Caution is strongly
advised when using any public restroom.
Any advice about use of a ladies restroom from DLV organizers or
attendees is considered advisory only, and no authorization for use of
is given nor implied.
Entering a ladies rest room at any venue is considered high risk.
Using a ladies rest room in a group is especially high risk and must be
avoided. DLV organizers consider this act as your total lack of concern
for others, who could suffer great embarrassment from your actions.
This happened at the previous DLV.
Restroom guidelines for Attendees:
What is a restroom for?
A public restroom should be used for one thing, and one thing only, that
is to take care of necessary bodily functions!
It should not be thought of:
* As a status symbol (being seen entering or exiting a public ladies room).
* A rite of passage (first time using a public ladies room).
* A place to socialize.
* An environment in which you can confrontively assert your right to be
there (Yeah, I'm a tranny, you got a problem with that?).
. . . . .
The DLV organisers strongly suggests the following guidelines for
* Use the rest room of the gender you are presenting.
If you are dressed as a woman:
* Use the womens rest room subject to the guidelines and warnings
provided, if you are comfortable doing so.
If you are dressed as a man:
* Use the mens rest room.
* Unless it is closed off or segregated DO NOT use the mens room if
dressed as a woman. This has the potential to invite considerable abuse.
* When using a womens restrooms use the following guidelines:
* Enter with casual confidence and avoid direct eye or other contact
with anyone in the restroom
* Always SIT, NEVER stand, when urinating. Feet facing the stall door.
(REAL women don't stand and Pee!)
* Go in, do your business, wash your hands and leave as quickly but
without noticeable haste.
* DO NOT LINGER OR LOITER. Use the mirror, if necessary, to check
yourself and touch up, but do it quickly and get out.
* Being passable makes a difference in using womens restrooms. Be
aware that if you are not passable then:
* You are MUCH more likely to have an issue
* You may invite abuse or attention
* Reduce the amount of time you are in common areas of the rest room
as much as practically possible.
* If you do use a public restroom then you should be as discreet and
innocuous as possible.
* Do not attempt to fix or apply makeup
* Avoid speaking in the restrooms unless your voice is totally passable.
Use head gestures if you need to communicate
* Avoid going in groups
* Avoid confrontation by exiting as quickly as possible if you are
* Never change clothes in a restroom, either in or out of a stall
* Avoid restrooms attached to changing areas
* If you have to make any boob or private part adjustments, make them in
the privacy of your stall, not in the common areas
* Avoid restrooms that are:
* Have long lines
* Have young girls or young women in them
* Have obvious attendants or security
* Use restrooms that are:
* Less utilised or in discreet locations
* Labelled as Unisex or Family style (lockable and intended for only
one social unit at a time)
* Do not attempt to use a restroom that you have personally been warned
against using by a security guard or other member of the venue staff.
This may result in a trespass situation.
If you can't follow the guidelines you should be aware that you are MUCH
MORE likely to not only cause problems for yourself but also others from
DLV. If you feel uncomfortable using public womens restrooms plan to
avoid them by:
* Whenever possible, try to plan ahead and use your own hotel room rest
* Making alternative arrangements
* Using the restrooms at safe locations or at your hotel room
* Drinking less
* Use uni-sex rest rooms for a lesser possibility of confrontations
. . . . .
Common restroom situations to be aware of:
Confrontation in restrooms
If you should be confronted by management or another customer:
* Don't push things
* Be a lady.
* Quickly and briefly apologize and GET OUT!
* Don't explain anything. The less said, the better.
* Find other facilities.
Lines in restrooms
Sometimes you may encounter a line in a public ladies room. This
sometimes happens in the restrooms in the vicinity of a showroom just
after a show has concluded, but it may happen anywhere that the demand
(for stalls) exceeds the supply of them.
If there is a line:
* The correct etiquette is to join the line at the rear and to quietly
wait until it is your turn to proceed to the next open stall.
* If you are uneasy doing this, simply turn around, exit, and look for
other facilities. In a restroom with a long line, you will most
certainly see others doing this as well.
Occasionally you may run into a public ladies room in which there is an
attendant. This used to be far more common, but some of these people
still exist today.
If there is an attendant:
* They are there to assist patrons with various things, and yes, they do
earn a considerable portion of their income from tips. They will usually
have quite a stash of supplies of various types. Sometimes their duties
include clean-up and housekeeping of the ladies room.
* Unless your mannerisms and voice are 100% passable, avoid interacting
with these attendants.
* Every so often you may run into at attendant who is helpful to the
point of being pushy. If she asks you if you need anything, simply shake
your head no. Occasionally, sometimes they will do such things as hand
you a towel without being asked. (Some of them *DO* expect a tip for
things like this.) If this happens, simply smile and take the towel.
It's up to you if you wish to tip.
* In this day and age, however, most attendants will not approach you
unless you indicate you need something.
* If an attendant does perform some kind of a service for you, such as
finding you a safety pin, yes, a tip may be appropriate.
. . . . .
If you do have a bad or uncomfortable encounter in a restroom you should
inform one of the DLV organising team as soon as possible.
If one is present at the activity the sooner we are aware of the problem
the earlier we can avoid it escalating.
All incidents are reviewed post DLV to see if this policy and guidelines
will need to be amended or whether other action needs to be taken to
make the venues more accommodating to our needs.