August, 2003

Why is behaviour important?

Transgendered people as a community, DLV as a group and each attendee as
an individual are subject to the views and actions of the general
community.

Where we as a community, group or individual flaunt ourselves, upset the
general public or create unnecessary attention it reflects on us as a
community, group and individual.

One of the founding principles of DLV is for it to be a vacation, with
activities held in the general community. Poor, unacceptable, unusual
acts bring attention to us and create situations for many within our
group that they can not necessarily handle or cope with. This is
particularly true for the newer people that have either not or
infrequently ventured into the real world.

The issue of behaviour is therefore important as the actions of a few,
through inappropriate actions affect many others quite unknowingly and
usually painfully.
. . . . .

Behaviour guidelines for Attendees:

The DLV organisers strongly suggest the following guidelines for
attendees:

* Dress (see additional dress guidelines in the Dress section)

 · Dress should always be appropriate for the type of venue, activity and
 time of day, taking into account getting to and from that activity

 · It is never appropriate to over dress or dress up for activities that
 do not require it, including the use of costumes.

 · Clothing should be appropriate for your age, weight and body shape.

 · Clothing should, under all circumstances, cover all private areas
 including any prostheses (eg Breast forms, hip pads, etc) used by cross
 dressers.

 · Apart from obviously practical considerations foot wear should be
 appropriate to venue and activity. It is important that you are actually
 able to walk properly in the chosen foot wear, especially when
 transiting through public areas.
. . .

* Attitude

 · Attitude is key to passing but various attitudes can also affect how
 you are perceived by both other transgendered people as well as the
 general public.

 · Try to remember that all of DLV is organised by volunteers and they
 are often unpaid and unthanked for their efforts.

 · Selfish behaviour, that is consideration of your own needs, wants or
 requirements, above those of the group you are with is likely to create
 unnecessary stress for all concerned.

 · Remember that many attendees are already under significant stress by
 being out in the real world and any bad attitudes compounds and
 exacerbate even simple issues in to often very negative episodes.

 · Interact with the general public in a friendly but unobtrusive manner
 when ever possible. Do not flaunt yours or anyone else crossdressing.
 While this can seem like fun, it often attracts unnecessary attention to
 many in the group that do not want it, apart from the potential risk of
 rejection by the public.
. . .

* Decorum.

If you dress as a woman, act like one.

· Sit with your legs together or crossed. It is not appropriate to allow
people to see your undergarments!

· Do not bend or lean over in such a way to expose yourself. It is not
appropriate to allow people to see your undergarments!

· Underwear is most appropriately worn under your clothes.
. . . . .

* Presentation.

· It is not necessarily only a function of how any one aspect of how you
look that determines your ability to Pass. It is a combination of many
things including:

· Dress

· Body shape

· Makeup

· Hair

· Deportment

· Voice

· The better your presentation the less likely you are to come across
problems or issues in the real world.

· If you present poorly, that's the way you're likely to be treated.
. . .

* Punctuality.

· Be on time.

· Allow time in your schedule to walk / travel as a woman and deal with
any issues you encounter. Don't leave departing for an activity or
appointment to the last minute.

· There is NOTHING more obvious than a group of crossdressers waiting
around for more crossdressers! This can become quite uncomfortable for
all, experienced or not.
. . .

* Language and voice.

· Consider the tone, timbre and volume of your voice especially in
mainstream areas.

· Be careful about the type of language you use. It should be
appropriately ladylike under all circumstances.
. . .

* Manners.

· In general women display both a better command and use of manners than
men. Good manners are an aid to everyone.
. . .

* Groups.

· Be aware of the others in any group you're with. There may be a wide
range of experience within a group and often this can result in issues
arising from some assuming that everyone is universally comfortable with
what's happening.

· Groups of crossdressers DO attract attention. Try not to parade as a
group through mainstream areas.
. . .

* Applicability.

In all things to do with behaviour ensure that yours is applicable and
compatible with the:

· Activity

· Other attendees

· Venue
. . .

* Alcohol.

· Ensure that you drink well within your limits.

· Being drunk and cross dressed will lead to considerable embarrassment
and inconvenience for you and most likely others.

· When drinking consider that what goes in, mostly has to come out. If
you're not comfortable using an ladies rest rooms you should be very
careful about how much you consume.

· If you see any of the group over indulging, or creating a problem
please make one of the organisers aware of it as soon as practical.

If you can't follow the guidelines you should be aware that you are MUCH
MORE likely to, not only cause problems for yourself, but also others
from DLV.
. . . . .

Illegal Behaviour:

In most cases the organisers will unilaterally report any illegal
behaviour that is likely to impact the group to authorities. Be Warned!

Illegal behaviour includes (but is not necessarily limited to):

· Dealing or use of drugs.

· Prostitution, pimping or other similar activities.
. . . . .

Common situations to be aware of:

Lines, Queues, Lifts and crowds:

Ultimately you will encounter a situation where you have to wait in
line, or be in a lift etc, giving the people around you chance to
realise what you are. Try to be innocuous. Avoid speaking if possible. 

If there is a line:

· Always following the appropriate etiquette to avoid attracting
attention.

· If you are uneasy doing this, simply turn around and exit as quickly
and quietly as possible.
. . . . .

Dealing with People:

If you do have to deal directly with an attendant, shop keeper, etc. try
and be as casual and friendly as possible. Smile if can. Generally most
hotel, casino and shopping staff will be ambivalent to you as long you
are dressed and act appropriately.

Dealing with Authorities:

Most likely this will involve being required to provide an appropriate
identification. Always carry and provide your legal identification
document(s). A simple identity check can often become much more serious
by providing false or misleading documents.

General Issues:

If you do have a bad or uncomfortable encounter or you see one or more
of the DLV group demonstrating inappropriate behaviour you should inform
one of the DLV organising team as soon as possible.

If one is present at the activity the sooner we are aware of the problem
the earlier we can avoid it escalating.

All incidents are reviewed post DLV to see if this policy and guidelines
will need to be amended or whether other action needs to be taken to
make the venues more accommodating to our needs.