Attending Diva Las Vegas as an admirer:
We realize that as an admirer, you may be unsure or apprehensive about
attending DLV. You may be nervous about attending, and you may wonder
if you are really and truly welcome to attend and participate.
Please be assured that you are just as welcome to attend as any other
attendee, subject, of course, to the same conditions of participation
and behavior guidelines that all attendees must agree to.
The ratio of men to women at DLV has historically been low, so having
more men, to better balance the group so to speak, can be a good thing.
This web page will give you some insight into attending DLV as an
admirer, and offer you some advice as to how you can make the best
of your DLV experience.
First, a few hints to help you "fit in" and get along with the
other DLV attendees:
- Participate
If you want to be part of DLV, then be a part of DLV! Register and be
part of the group. Hang around with the others, day and night. Don't
just show up at the bars after hours. Have fun with the group!
Please join in any activities that you find of interest. The only
activities that may not be open to you are those designated "SO Only" or
"Girlmode Only" but at all others you will be welcome. The others will
be more likely to warm up to you if you're a familiar face.
Wear your DLV name badge. Yes, really. It identifies you as part of the
group and will help you break the ice as you introduce yourself to
others.
When you register for DLV, please register using a normal-sounding
first name. This will help you make a better impression. "Handles"
are not allowed when registering for DLV. Your understanding and cooperation
are appreciated.
- Circulate
Spread yourself around. Get to know others, many of them. You'll find
that you are better received if you circulate instead of latching on to
one in particular.
Actively introduce yourself to others who are present.
- Be a gentleman.
Treat the M to F TG's present as you would any other lady. Practice
the little gestures that a gentleman customarily does, such as holding
the door for a lady, helping a lady with her seat or wrap, etc.
Buying a lady a drink is almost always appreciated and is a good
ice-breaker.
A true gentleman does not quiz a lady about her sexuality or her
availability immediately upon meeting her. (This is often cited as
a major turn-off when meeting an admirer.)
Many of the ladies present will have little or no real-world experience
dealing with admirers, but all have heard the stories. Please do your
part to set a good example, of admirers, and of men in general.
Illegally participating in "the world's oldest profession", either as
a provider or as a consumer, is strictly prohibited at DLV. Those
caught in either role will be ejected and reported to the authorities!
- Be yourself
Let the others get to know you for who you are and what you are.
Don't try to come off as a rock star, sports hero, casino boss,
billionaire, etc., unless you actually happen to be one. (Hint: Those
who are, seldom make it a point of conversation.)
- Be attentive but not intrusive.
Join in conversations but don't monopolize them. Don't cling! (See
"Circulate" above.)
Don't attempt to pry a lady away from her group of friends in order to
devote her attention solely to you. Likewise, please don't try to
convince a lady to skip DLV activities in order to spend time with
you and you alone.
- Look sharp!
You don't have to be a Tom Selleck look-alike, but you should be
well-groomed, appropriately dressed, and presentable for DLV!.
"Smart casual" dress is suggested for men for most evening DLV
activities, and a jacket and tie would be appropriate, but not required,
for some of the fancier things such as the Limo Tour, the nicer dinners,
and the evening shows. Jacket and tie will be required for men for the
English High Tea, if you wish to attend this activity. "Comfortable
casual" is appropriate for the more informal daytime activities.
"Every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man!"
- Watch your language!
A gentleman does not use crude, profane, or suggestive language when
meeting a lady. It's just not necessary and poor manners to do so.
Learn the vernacular if you're not familiar with it, and please avoid
using the terms that are disliked in our community. For example,
the terms "shemale" and "ladyboy" are considered
highly offensive by many of our attendees, particularly when used
in the second or third person. Even terms such as "drag" and
"real girl" can be offensive if used it the wrong context.
In recent years, the term "tranny" has taken on a certain
pejorative context and even the term "transsexual" has been
falling out of favor in the community.
An annotated glossary of some of the terms you're likely to encounter
in our community is on line
HERE.
And, watch your pronouns, please! The general rule is that third-person
pronouns should be congruent with the gender being presented.
- Don't push things.
"No" means NO. Please respect the personal space and the comfort level
of the ladies you meet. Please be very careful of any unwanted physical
contact.
Avoid putting a lady into a situation in which she may feel awkward or
uncomfortable.
If it is indeed the case that you do come on too strong, particularly
with multiple individuals, be aware that the word will spread very
rapidly and you will quickly find yourself on the receiving end of many
cold shoulders! This is the one faux-paus that will most definitely
impede your acceptance and your enjoyment of Diva Las Vegas.
Meeting the others, getting to know them:
At your first DLV activity, check in with the sign-in host or hostess
just as any other attendee would do. If you're new and don't know any
of the others yet, ask to have one of the volunteers introduce you
around. It's up to you whether or not you identify yourself as an
admirer.
If you're nervous or unsure, don't be afraid to say so. It's
"OK" to be nervous and you will find that the feeling will
subside very quickly once you meet the others and get acquainted.
You will find that very few participants come to DLV with the intent
of finding a partner. Therefore you should plan to participate as part
of the group, as opposed to participating as half of a potential couple.
At the various social activities such as happy hours, mixers, etc., you
will find that the attendees will typically gather and converse in small
groups which will grow, shrink, move, split up, etc., as people join and
move on, as the activity progresses. You will find that these groups are
informal and most often welcoming of others, particularly newcomers.
Please feel free to appoach these groups, introduce yourself, and join
in the conversation if you find it of interest.
Many of the ladies present will have, at most, limited experience with
admirers, and may be somewhat apprehensive. Speaking very freely, those
who have experience with admirers quite possibly have had mixed or
negative experiences. It's for these reasons that you'll need to make an
appropriate first impression and take things slowly.
One particular behavior pattern, one that is frequently observed with
admirers, unfortunately, is one that will get you a very bad reputation
very fast. This is where an admirer quickly "makes the
rounds", obviously checking each lady present for availability, and
quickly moves on to another, and another, and another. This is one
pattern which is immediately recognized and must be avoided, if you wish
to remain persona grata.
After hours -- If you want to join in on the various informal goings-on
that frequently happen after the last scheduled DLV activity of the
evening, don't be shy about asking "May I join you?" as groups
depart for a casino lounge, an early breakfast, etc. You will find that
you have much better luck asking to join a group, rather than trying to
arrange for an impromptu late night date with one individual. Groups
will often welcome men, as they help balance the group, visually, in a
mainstream public setting.
Many of the ladies, even those who are quite experienced, socially, will
be very uneasy about going off alone with somebody they do not know
well. Please be aware of this, and please do not push things if somebody
should decline your invitation for a ride, a visit to your hotel room, a
one-on-one at a lounge, etc.
What to do next:
If you want to attend DLV as an admirer, here's what you'll want to do:
- Look over this web site to be sure you know what DLV is, what DLV is
not, and that DLV is indeed something you want to attend.
- Join our mailing list. Become familiar with the plans for DLV. Just
e-mail dlv@geekbabe.com and say
you want to join our mailing list. It's discreet and spam-free.
- Register for DLV. We don't ask our attendees to label themselves, so
you don't have to indicate that you are an admirer anywhere. DLV
general registration opens in March for the current year's event.
See mailing list for
pre-registration options.
- Make your travel and lodging arrangements.
One note, please do not attempt to bypass the DLV registration and
validation process. Doing this will only call attention to yourself as a
potential rule-breaker. You will receive a much warmer reception if you
register as part of the group than if you just show up and try to crash
the party.